Antelope Valley Fair

I know. We are crazy. But I'm going crazy staying home all week long! So we went out today. Of course we chose the most clean and germ free place to take our family this weekend... The fair!

Five years ago Brian was interning at Lockheed here in Palmdale. So we went to the local fair to kill some time. Who knew years later we would come full circle and bring our family of four to the same fair! Life is funny. Completely aggravating at times, but funny.

Anyways, we had a blast. It turns out toddlers LOVE carnival games, rides, and food. We let ourselves spoil Brad a bit by giving in and just having some fun despite some of the ridiculous carnie prices.

Brian took Brad in the googly mirror funhouse and the pirate adventure fun house. With some convincing, I took brad on the giant slide! (Brian had to convince me!) So much fun! I don't think Brian had as much fun in the fun houses as I did on the slide.

Then of course we had to visit the animals, booths, and arts and crafts area. This is such a cute, small town fair. Complete with quilt, collection, and table scape contests. They were judging a cheesecake contest while we were there. So small town and sweet.

We had planned on getting dinner buuut then we got dessert instead. Funnel cake! I've never had a funnel cake before. Brian didn't disappoint, he got "the works" which included strawberries, apples, pudding or cream, chocolate chips, and whipped cream. It was an epic sugar experience. Brad got an ice cream cone. We came home very sticky and full of sugar.

Luke didn't enjoy the experience as much as the rest of us and told us the whole way home. Oh well. We all lived.

Screaming, car driving, baby torture

I made it. That's almost all I can say. I survived my first kid dr appointment with both kiddos. Luke had a three week check up today. Yesterday Brian told me that he wanted to attend something at work and could I do both kids on my own.

Now or never I figured.

So the morning went great. The night was great too- which I now see was a tender mercy of the Lord. We were all up, fed, dressed, and ready to go by 8:30. We even arrived on time and the baby was asleep. I thought, "this isn't sooo bad. I can totally do this. " then we were called in and things started getting more complicated.

The act of getting Luke naked kinda put him in a bad mood. Which made brad crave a bit more attention too. After a quick weigh and measurement Luke was mad and Brad wad madly driving his car everywhere. Soon the doctor came in and began his examination.

I found it increasingly hard to hear the doc as Luke got more agitated and Brad drove his car on the chairs. But things still were pretty okay. Brad wasn't jumping off the chairs or throwing them, or trying to ride the doctor's spiny chair. So I can't complain.

Then the doc tells me he needs to fix part of Luke's circumcision. Hmm. I guess that is fine as long as I don't have to see it. I hate watching them give my babies vaccine shots let alone watching a knife go to my baby! I know. I'm the baby!

The doc leaves and I am able to calm Luke for a bit. Brad really isn't being bad. It is just really loud when he drives his car on certain surfaces in that office. So I compliment him on his good listening and patience even when the baby is sad. This makes him smile.

The doc and nurse come back with a bunch of pads and supplies in their hands and begin to instruct me on how and where to put the baby on the examination table. Then they start laying the pads down and swabbing Luke. I knew this was going to be complicated.

The doc reassures me that he doesn't need to cut anything, but I need to hold the baby's arms. This puts my back to Brad. As the baby got louder so did Brad driving his car everywhere. I swear it took all my strength not to break down when he started fixing Luke- which really was nothing. Just loosening some skin. Still. I thought my head was going to burst from all the noise and trying to talk over it and hear through it. I'm sure I missed some valuable instructions but it was the best I could do.

After the torture I fed Luke and sat brad down with some iPhone Blues Clues on Netflix. Luke fell asleep and Brad was chipper and held my hand to the car. At least they seemed okay after all that.

Thank goodness I had pain meds in the car. My head was pounding as we left. But we all made it.

Then I figured we'd go to the store while Luke was sleeping. This turned out to be an excellent plan and I bought a boatload of groceries. Even though I had lots of people go to the store for me there are just some things I never remembered to tell them and so I've been without mandarin oranges and hot dog buns for weeks now!

We even picked up lunch on the way home. Not too horrible of a morning I guess.

No no room

We have one room Brad cannot be in by himself. Of course it is the only room that he wants to play in and it is right next to his room.
We keep all our computer/ office stuff in there, plus all my craft stuff. ( I didn't realize how much craft stuff I had till it was moved into this small room.
At first Brad wasn't allowed in because of the sheer volume of wall to wall piles of books and crap. ( the unpackers really didn't do us any favors in this room.)
Never the less he escaped in there a few time.. Which ended in disaster. Over the last few weeks Brad found, opened, and emptied a bottle of diamond glaze, a bottle of sealant, a bottle of purple sparkle nail polish ( poured on my office chair) and a trial package of liquid fabric softener.
That room smells so weird right now!
I was quite frustrated each time I found brad with these products spread across his legs and the carpet.
Two days ago he squirted the fabric softener on the floor and I decided that was it. I've spent the last two days organizing and kid proofing the room
I found brad spreading crinkle paper around today. Grrrrr. At least I didn't need water and carpet cleaner to fix it. Just a vacuum.

Labor

I love reading my friends' labor stories, so I'll post mine because I know they have an equal love of labor stories. Sorry boys, it is just a girl thing.

Tuesday morning Brian asked me if there was any "action" before he left for work - he was anticipating a very busy day with the type of meetings where if he entered he would have to be there the entire time. So I said no and he went to work. Ten or so minutes later I started having tiny cramps or mini contractions.

I just had a feeling things were going to happen. So I made sure to take a nice shower, shave my legs, wear a cute outfit, and put on makeup. (all things I hadn't done for days because when you are ginormously pregnant you don't want to move) Then I decided to get stuff done.
Around 9 am I started having slightly stronger contractions. Nothing big. I figured if you could walk through it, it isn't that big, and doesn't count as real labor. So we went shopping for a few of my last minute wants before the baby came.

Brian called around lunch time and I told him there was a little action but not a ton. He came home 20 min later. I don't think he was looking forward to his afternoon meetings. ;)

That afternoon we were all business. Putting up curtains, mounting the foam mickey heads on the baby's room wall, packing a few last minute things, cleaning and general prep for the chaos soon to ensue.

Brian kept giving me looks like, shouldn't you be resting? No. The answer is no. Laying there waiting for the next contraction to come and timing it is the most boring, slow afternoon I can think of. My `afternoon contractions where the kind you have to pause, but when they are over you can keep going no problem. They were only 30 sec long and between 4 and 8 minutes apart. The doctor told us don't go till you are 1 min long, 5 min apart for 1 hour. I never really followed this pattern.

Around 5pm I decided to lay down for a while, and Brian decided to make some dinner. As soon as I stopped moving and laid down my contractions got real. Within 20 min they were starting to get big, longer, and closer together. But I really wanted to eat before we went to the hospital and I really really wanted Brian to eat since they don't provide the hubby any food.
This meant waiting another 20 min or so.
With a few pot stickers in my tummy we left for the hospital.

Of course we went the long way. Of course we hit every light possible.

We were admitted to a very busy triage and waited. Meanwhile I'm was now having very very long, very painful contractions. Well past where I had an epidural last time. I know that they were very busy that night, I know they had lots of preggo girls to take care of, but I swore we waited there forever before anyone even came in to start the process. We had to keep waiting between every little step. I was pretty worried that I would miss the time frame to get an epidural. Finally someone said well lets check you! Oh you are a 6-7!  ... liar I was a 7. Suddenly things picked up.

Guess what, those curtains they use as walls aren't sound proof. So next I could hear the nurses calling my doctor and telling each other I had a small shot of getting the anesthesiologist between his two c-sections. THEY HADN'T CALLED MY DOCTOR! NO EPIDURAL???!!

I was "gently" wheeled into the labor room. The nurse started pushing my iv fluids and madly preparing the room. LUCKILY the anesthesiologist walked in and graciously gave me an epidural between his two surgeries. He was so nice! He sat in the room for a while to monitor me and continued to tell us stories of crazy, inconsolable women who would not sit still for their epidurals.

I could still feel some pressure in my right hip. And over the next three contractions it got more painful instead of duller. The anesthesiologist smiled and said, well then that probably won't go away and I could be fully dilated, and left. Hmm.

The nurse said well let's just check you.

Here eyes got very big and she stuttered, well you're fully dilated!! Let me go get your doctor. DON'T DO ANYTHING!
Hmm.

Another minute later she began wheeling in other equipment and busily preparing. The doctor staggered in- you could tell they just woke him up even though it was only 10 pm. As soon as they were ready, 3 or so contractions later, we began pushing! Two contractions and he was out! Woohoo!!

Not a bad experience, but if there is a next time I don't think I'll cut it so close. Although I'm not sure when would have been a good time to go in. Oh well.

Luke is currently a sweet chill boy. After we were out of the hospital we figured out breastfeeding pretty well, so he is a good eater and a good sleeper. Slowly, I re-realize that he won't always be this way. In fact, next week he could turn into a monster and my mostly calm world will go away. So I'm trying my hardest to be equally chill and not stress and worry about every little thing.

Bradley LOVES his new little bro. Mostly because now he is a big brother, and I think he likes that title. Mommy isn't always his fave person- which is hard and sad when it happens. But we are working on the mommy bradley time so he doesn't feel so left out or ignored. He still has his toddler moments, but really, I think he is adjusting well. Thank goodness we'll have grandparents to help us out for the first three weeks. That fourth week is going to be a challenge, but I have my two little boys, and I couldn't be happier.

Luke

First Night Home

We welcomed Luke George Saponas to the world a few nights ago on July 24. He is so sweet. I'm still awed at the moment I went from one child to two. ...two is way better than one. Not easier, but so joyful I can't imagine life any other way.

I'll update more on our birth story later. But I wanted to post a few pics- especially for those photo hungry aunts out there ;)

One Hour of Affirmation

In my chaotic world I choose not to dwell on things that I can't control. One of those things I choose not to think about is what it will be like to have a newborn again. Can I do it? With two?

For those that knew me after I had Bradley, you probably know that I didn't have the easiest time with him in an infant state. Between healing "the hard way" from labor (ask if you want and I'll tell), a fussy but technically not colicy baby, and postpartum depression; I had a really rough go for a few months. Thank goodness I had Kyli's couch to sit on when I was so lonely. For those reasons, I really really choose not to think about the impending future of post birth.

Beyond the physical ailments, I also choose not to think about how I will be able to care for him. (For all my denial, I do think a lot about how the new baby will impact Bradley-I have lots of plans for this.) I am not a baby person. I do not have "baby instincts" or "baby skills." I've always awed at mothers who will claim to know things like, "oh he's just gassy, he just needs to be burped," "oh he's just hungry," "oh he is over stimulated and cranky," "he has a gassy belly" "he is teething" "he just needs a little rocking." What? I promise you the only reason my life had any semblance of order was because I did things on a schedule and had a mental of list of things to go through when Bradley was crying for an hour or so.. I guess I would rather just take what comes, when it comes with this new baby rather than worry about how potentially hard it will be - especially with two.

Today I had to pull out the mommy skills though. I was late into Relief Society and took the end seat on the back row only to find out that the next two seats were occupied by the woman who has two, young, foster kids in her care and a friend. Each woman had a child on her lap, then one began to fuss and the other began to run. So the mom set both kids with the friend lady across the way and ran to get a bottle and a toy. Naturally this poor lady could not handle both a toddler and crying infant at the same time, so I took the infant. Suddenly there was a bottle in my hand and the ladies were gone. hmm.

The only true mom skill I developed with Bradley was the bounce/rock. It was the only action that soothed Bradley for a nap. So after the bottle was gone I popped that binki in and started to bounce. The little boy instantly calmed. What? Did I do that?

Then the mom sat down beside me and whispered that this poor boy was abandoned and she only had him for a few days before he was moving on. Suddenly I couldn't let him go, I held him tight hoping he would know that for at least an hour he was loved. Instantly he was asleep and stayed that way the rest of time while I cradled and rocked him in my seat and cried in my mind for him.

By the end of the hour I knew that I could do it again. I knew that no matter what this new baby threw at me, even if I didn't know every second what my baby was feeling and how to fix it, I would always love him. And love him more than any other person in the world. No matter what hard things I must overcome in those early months, I would never give up. Ya never know, I may be lucky enough to have a more chill second child and all my angst is for naught.

Don't worry, this little boy will have a happy ending. An infertile couple is adopting him, and has even already adopted his older sister. He will have more than the one hour of snuggles we had, he will have a loving family to grow up in.

As for me it was a very revealing hour.