Saturday, July 13, 2013

Up to?

Yes we've been up to a lot!

Disney trips, hikes, playing around the house! We've really been having a blast here in California and loving spending our time together.

 Disney trip in June!

 Swim lessons for Brad twice a week.

 Hiking along our fave trail!

 Tending to our garden. Brad loves this!

 Fourth of July trip to Valencia to escape the heat! No fireworks were had, but we did get to play on the beach all we wanted!

 And of course we discovered the coolest mini golf course ever in Valencia.
In this pic brad is laughing because he knows he just cheated! But he was a good sport and played most of the real mini golf rules this time.

And of course, eating noodles!!!!! Luke also likes noodles and red sauce if you couldn't tell.
I love my boys.

Don't be fooled by the internet allusion that life is perfect. It is so easy for people to only see the happy pics posted and assume this or that family has it so easy. (Trust me I know, in the grand scheme I do have it easy. I have running water and flushing toilets and baby wipes. I live a cushy life.)

But for all the fun things we've been able to do this last month or so Brad has been so hard! Ever since Luke has started moving and getting more attention Bradley has almost equally called for attention in negative ways. Acting out, saying "bad words", just being really rough with everyone around him. It is so hard not to act in kind to the roughness. I find on days when I have anything on my agenda other than playing, Brad has a really hard time unless a movie is on. As in, we can either play together or he can get in trouble or he can watch a movie. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, are all excuses for Brad to find some alone time to do something he knows is not good.

So my house is going through really dirty and clean phases. Play day = dirty house. Movie day = clean house. This week we've finally been able to have a good balance because we've had friends over nearly every other day. Friend days are big play days. But then the day after Brad is tired I think and has tired cranky energy. And I know- here's the cop out- A movie will totally temper Brad's bad actions and he will calmly sit and watch... and then I can clean!!! Or chill.

Overall I don't have many good solutions on how to handle this new naughty phase. I know what not to do after about a month of doing everything wrong. I swear at any point during the day last month you could ask Brad how he was feeling and he would tell you angry. I think he doesn't understand many other emotions. Never the less, some form of frustration was his default all last month. I really hope I can do better. Maybe this last week is a good example and just having more structure and play dates is a good thing for him.

Brad really struggles with wanting friends, having friends, treating friends nicely, and beating up his friends. I know this is literally the time of life where he is learning how to treat friends. I just wish that being nice came easier to him. Maybe I wish being nice in the face of frustration came easier to me too!

So life yea, is fun, but hard. But that is what makes it good, right?

1 comment:

Heidi Ence said...

You have been up to such fun things! I'm so glad you are doing some fun stuff this summer!

Brad is Brad, and he will get it eventually. I think he is just a kid that niceness doesn't come to as easily or natural as it does other kids. He had an example from some other kids when he was little, and maybe that's just what he's following. But he WILL get it, through other kids example (so yes, I think play dates are a wonderful idea for him!), and through your patience. Which is the hardest thing in the world. But you can do it! You are a wonderful mother! Love you!